Congratulations, you’ve said “yes”. Welcome to the wonderful world of wedding planning! While planning your special day is something that’s fun and exciting for many couples, it’s no secret that it can be full of expectations too.
To keep the wedding planning stress to a minimum, our advice is to not let the expectations of others change what you want for your day. Here are 4 reasons why…
Expectations will likely cause you to spend more
Following every expectation of friends and family (and society more widely) is a slippery slope to going over budget. Everyone’s budget is different and prioritises different things; it takes a lot of time and effort to create a wedding budget and protect it as you are planning.
So, don’t let the expectations of others affect your spending. It would be much worse to overspend and start married life in a financial position that you aren’t comfortable with, than not meet the expectations of a handful of people, who will likely have an amazing time on your wedding day anyway!
The expectations are not what’s generally anticipated
It’s likely that at some point during your lifetime you’ve been a guest at a few weddings. It’s also likely that all of those weddings were different, because every couples’ identity and style was different. Before you jump to a conclusion on what your guests will “expect”, think about what you would hope for from a wedding yourself as a guest.
Of course, what you expect will depend on the couple, but in reality as a guest you aren’t likely to expect a three course meal and extravagant cake at every wedding. You are probably anticipating that there will be something to eat and something to drink, and you are hoping that whatever that is will be delicious!
You can’t please everyone!
Another reason for ignoring all wedding expectations is the unnecessary pressure of opposing opinions. Family members and close friends LOVE getting involved in the wedding planning process. They want to help you bring your day to life and be a part of these important decisions, but that does also mean that everyone you love will have an opinion of your choices (and not always agreeable ones).
While it’s important to ensure everyone feels listened to and their opinions are respected, remember that you can never please everyone (even if you really try to). It is more important that you and your partner are happy with your wedding decisions, that you feel like your wedding day expresses your identity as a couple, and is a moment you will look back on fondly.
Of course, there are certain individuals whose opinions matter to you more than others. So, you should consider your approach to these more carefully, especially if you don’t wholly agree with the viewpoint.
In these cases it’s best to decide whether pleasing that person is more important to you than the element itself and whether there’s a compromise. For example, you may not like lilies, but if Grandma wants them in the bridal bouquet, will it ruin the day? As a compromise, can you instead have a lily buttonhole made especially for her on the day? Compromise can be key to helping someone feel acknowledged without committing to the fullest extent.
It will always be “the best day of your life”
There’s a lot of onus on your wedding day being ‘the best day of your life’, and this often gets misinterpreted as meaning everything must be perfect for everyone. While it will be a huge occasion for you both and your families, try not to let the pressure of hosting the perfect day get to you.
The wedding is the celebration of your new marriage. While the celebratory elements like the food, the cake, the drinks, wedding speeches and music and dancing are all very important and a huge part of the day, they are a separate entity to the marriage ceremony. You should remember that it will always be “the best day of your life” because of the promises you will be making to each other in front of the people you love and the happiness that will bring you as a couple.
So, make sure that everything you choose for your wedding celebrations are what you and your partner want them to be. It’s your day, so don’t let the expectations of others change your plans. or it won’t be the day you wanted.